Do I look athletic yet?

DAY 3

This is the type of day that if I did not have someone mildly interested in whether I have done my 5 minutes (I fear the ridicule of MPBF in particular) then I would say screw it. This is a vague accounting of the day as I remember it:

5:47am: Am awakened by “Mommy! Mommy! I peeped the bed!” It is dark. Let it be known, Mama does not like to be awoken when it is still dark, especially when peep is involved.

5:55am: Both children are awake and in bed with us now. I remain optimistic that they might both miraculously go back to sleep for like 5 minutes. This doesn’t happen.

6:15am: Out of bed. Could theoretically do 5 minutes of exercise, but don’t really want to. Drink coffee instead.

6:20-7:45am: Kids ready, husband ready, self ready, and out the door for work and school.

8:30am: Arrive at work. Decide today is an excellent day for a breakfast sandwich on a lovely, buttery roll with egg and cheese. Steadfastly refuse to believe this could be bad for you.

8:45am: One of my bosses arrives bearing a cake for other boss’s birthday. On cake box there is a sticker that says “Most Moistest Cake You Have Ever Tasted”. Two thoughts: A) the day is looking up B) am intrigued by this claim. I take it almost a challenge.

9:00am: Work very hard doing important things.

9:07am: Think about the cake. What if THIS IS THE DAY I have the Most Moistest Cake I Have Ever Tasted????!!!!! This is huge.

9:08am: Work and be important.

10:15am: Colleague stops by my desk to discuss cake. This is excellent news that I am not the only one thinking about it.

10:16am: Work really hard (yes, my boss is reading this)

11:13am: Stop by another colleague’s desk to discuss whether it is inappropriate to eat someone’s birthday cake without them. We decide it is (boo).

1:30pm: Get word the birthday celebration and cake eating is not going to happen before I need to leave work. This is not good news.

2:30pm: Leave work for afternoon of picking up children, getting supplies for after school activity, attend after school activity for one child, whilst occupying other child who gives a flip about said after school activity.

5:00pm: Headed home, but realize I have to stop by store for ONE ITEM missing for dinner. I would pay someone an undisclosed amount to run in the store and get it for me so I don’t have to get the children out of the car one more time. Cheerily announce we have to stop by the store and rewarded with dismayed screeching from the backseat.

5:30pm: Open a bottle of wine, cook dinner, help with homework, diffuse after school meltdowns. No 5 minutes in sight.

6:00pm: Change out of work clothes. Put on sweat pants that now look like biker shorts. This concerns me.

6:30pm: Dinner is in the oven, husband is home, take a sip of wine and decide I will do 5 minutes of lunges in the kitchen.

6:35pm: Am out of breathe and sweating. Did lunges, squats and calf raises. For 5 minutes exactly. Realize just how painfully sore I am from yoga yesterday. And also remember why I hate lunges, squats and calf raises and don’t do them as a general rule.

6:36pm: Check my rear in the mirror – do I look athletic yet?