Well now

Huh - look at that, it's been over a year since we have posted on this blog! Interesting. Because when I start projects, I ALWAYS finish them. I wrote that with a completely straight face, if you're wondering. Ah well. It's been quite a year with some big changes and now I found myself in a new place. And one of my observations is that there seems to be quite a lot of runners here. People are always running 4, 6, 10 miles because, ya know, why not. I was just discussing with my friend, K, what if you don't want to be a runner, what if you just want to be a "walker"? Maybe some people just aren't meant to be "runners"? I have heard many people tell the story of "I was never a runner, never thought I could be one, and now I run 75 miles every day!" Ok, well, I don't know that that will ever be me. I like to walk, I actually really do. Running on the other hand stresses me out. And as my friend K pointed out today, with walking you can really take in all the nice scenery around you, while with running, it's all just whizzing by. So, I need a hat or shirt or flask that says: Proud To Be A Walker. Or I'm a Walker and Proud of It.

I also find myself a year later with the same ten(ish) pounds to lose - why is that? I actually have several theories on that. And here they are.

REASONS WHY I DON'T EXERCISE ENOUGH TO LOSE THE TEN(ISH) POUNDS - A STUDY

1. I Am Lazy: This is sort of true. Historically, I am not super great at pushing myself to go that extra mile. Well, let's be honest, even that first mile. I systematically turn off my alarm for exercising in the morning in favor of snuggling back down under my nice, squishy down comforter. It's just so warm and snuggly and it's still dark outside. What kind of maniac gets up when it's still dark outside? I enjoy comfort. But does this have to mean that I am lazy? Not necessarily, but in this case, they are kind of going hand in hand.

2. Fear of The Unknown: I have never really been in super, duper shape. I have been thin and fabulous, but that was really more from youth and time spent in Paris where everybody is sort of naturally thin and it seemed like the thing to do. I have never really worked REALLY hard - exercising and eating well - and achieved a goal. I don't really know what that feels like at this point in my life where it's going to take a little, or lot, more oomph. How will it feel? How do I know I am going to like it? What if I don't? What if I do all that work and DON't feel awesome? I am just so comfy right now and historically I don't really like change.

3. It is Good Enough: Meaning, I can still get dressed up and look ok. I am not 300pounds. I don't have a danger to my health. I don't have a huge pressing reason - like my wedding - to get really slim and in shape. I mean, sure, I'd like to be 15-20-25 pounds thinner, but in weighing the effort versus return, I am not (obviously) hugely motivated by it. I mean sure, I'd love not to have all the floppy, flingy parts, but whatever. Then again, this all changes when I have to be in a swimsuit in France. And I do actually credit this with the reason that I am not bigger than I am. Facing my French in laws fat. Not something I want to do. Cue the panic as August gets closer.

4. Not Historically Athletic: I have never been an athlete PER SE. Now I was a "dancer" for some of my life and I was always good in P.E. and generally fine at whatever I tried. And of course, I like to refer to myself as "athletic" but that is possibly not entirely accurate. So I don't really know what its like to push myself, train hard, etc. All new territory here.

5. Denial: This is a good one. I do generally tend to feel like a) I do BASICALLY look like a Victoria's Secret model or someone who looks good in athletic shorts and that any evidence to the contrary is easily fixed if I really wanted to and not that serious. b) Appalled when I do actually put something on that I think should look good and find that indeed it is frightening.

6. Resentment: WHY should we have to exercise? I mean really? Why don't we just look like we did when we were 18? What is the deal? How could things have gone so wrong?

7. Uncomfortable: This goes along with a few already mentioned. When I do get out there and really run or do other things, it's kind of hard. Hmmmm....this looks like it might go with Lazy.

8. Confusion About Information: There are so many different theories about exercising. How long, what, when, blah blah. What if I do it wrong? And it doesn't work? And I could have been doing it a different way? It's an awful big risk to take.

9. All or Nothing: I want to know I am going to exercise every day for the rest of my life or not at all. Doesn't that make perfect sense? It's the black and white thing.

10. Fear of Failure: WHAT IF IT DOESN'T WORK. From my own experience, I know this is not true. But still. We keep waiting to really start. REALLY get in shape. Any day now. But what if I, gasp, FAIL?

11. Rebellion: Goes along with Resentment. Kind of like Eff You. I am not going to exercise because I know it is the right thing to do.

12. Time: Really, let's just throw this in. Because there is always a million things to do before exercising unless you really make it a priority.

13. Loving Husband: It is ALL HIS FAULT. He loves me the way I am. And thinks I'm beautiful. HOW DARE HE? What is even the damn point then?

Ok. So there are 13 excellent reasons why I don't exercise regularly and make it a priority. Stay tuned for why I SHOULD exercise.